... and that's just about the lowest point

I'm poor.

I don't mean the "No I wont pay for lunch today because I will have to buy spastic amounts of alcohol this weekend, and want to have plenty of spare cash in case of taxi and midnight feast need, I'll eat Mi-Goreng instead, but I will purchase that apparently essential accessory just in case I might wear it" kind of poor.

I mean the "No, I wont drive the car today because I can't afford petrol, but I will walk most of the way there, Public Transport is just so expensive these days, I'll just order water - from the tap - at lunch today because I don't want to be seen not participating in life, I'm calling you from the home phone, shit I ran out of shampoo I'll have to use the bar of soap instead for a while, fuck I can't pay rent" type of poor.

I have just finished my final year of university for the foreseeable future (those of you that know me, know that this is some kind of epic statement), and I am about to embark on the first year of my career (again, mammoth statement) and I am literally pinching pennies. Honestly, I found two dollars on the ground yesterday, and skipped my way to the bus station.

I am quite shaken by my new economic status, and while I am home in Brisbane for a holiday it is not a nice situation to find myself in. At the end of the stay I am half expecting to have my parents hand me a bill, that will tumble down the stairs in front of me it is so long. On that bill will be things like laundry, room rates, mini bar costs and my dignity.

I'm not keen for Christmas, that's for sure. Getting presents you love, but giving presents you could only just afford is not a winning combination.

But hey.... at least I do have a roof over my head.

xE

... and that's a little random

With two short weeks left until I finish my second degree, I have been reflecting on my year and what the future holds. For someone with a constant urge to study, a less than constant influx of income, and a never ending capacity to see new and exciting things in small mundane moments, it is a surprise even to myself that I am starring down the barrel of a yet another degree, and a possible career.

I am, unbeknown to myself at times, often at odds with the world around me. I am either too cold, when I should be hot. I can find interest in the strangest of things, and while I really enjoy studying, I am apparently starting to become too old to be seen as "that student who has studied for years to find what she loves" and more of the "bizarre girl who loves an assignment, is not quite an older age student, but is too old to fit in with another bunch of first years".

I am 25. And in this day and age that means a lot of things. It means I am no longer covered by my family medical insurance, I am no longer eligible for Centerlink unless I am on the dole, and I am at that age where Grandma's are allowed to ask the dreaded question "So when are you getting married?" The answer is not yet, if ever, and no I do not want to explain why I am in a happy relationship and marriage is not on the cards. That's exactly why I am in a happy relationship.

But I'm getting distracted.

Two shorts weeks are comfortably wedged between me and the end of my second degree. Which means that two short weeks are sitting between me and what is potentially my first real career (mind you the idea of a career is a whole other blog post waiting to happen). I am acutely aware of the fact that by my age, countless people have had one career and are on to their second. I am also very aware of the fact that while I have been studying to be a teacher, my younger sister has already gotten a psych degree and moved on to criminal studies and my Dad has silently given up on me ever having a 'real job'.

All these factors aside, I have learnt a lot on my final Prac, not all of which relate to teaching.

Things I have learnt on Prac:

• You will never win over a class without a smile
• Wearing badges that are obscure leads to students wanting to know more about you
• Falsely accusing a quiet student of talking will make the whole class shut up
• I desperately want to do a Diploma of Special Needs Teaching
• Me and my mentor teacher are not twins, no matter how many students ask us if we are
• Catholic schools are not as scary as I would have expected
• Catholic school students are not as well behaved as I would have expected
• Catholic school consequences are much scarier than I expected. 
• Teaching English is not that scary
• Teaching Musical theatre is very scary
• I need to define what I mean by "teaching"
• I am in desperate need of a group of friends that appreciate me
• My housemates are brilliant at making me laugh, but sometimes I just need someone to listen
• I've lived with my man friend for 10 months now, and it feels no different to before
• I really appreciate Tim Tams and their magical healing goodness
• Picnics on the floor of our bedroom with ginger beer and chicken and cheese sandwiches are the best way to make any day better
• Yes I am a Nana, and I will choose to stay home, cook dinner and watch a movie no matter how enticing your party sounds
• "The Game" is excellent
• Students often have hearts of gold
• A cartoon every week from a student about you and your mentor teacher is very appreciated
• Etsy is a trap
• Spending time in the art rooms playing with clay during your free periods is a much better use of time than lesson planning
• Having a mentor teacher who may as well be you in 7 years is hell fun
• I definitely want to be a teacher. At some point. 

I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, but I sure do feel better now. 

E x

... and that was uneventful.

I turn 25 a few weeks ago, without so much as a wrinkle or grey hair.

Who would have thought it would have been so painless?

E x

... and this is Sunny.

This is Sunny. She us comfy and yellow and so fun to ride.

E x

... and when Spring has sprung.

It's my birthday in less than and month. I am turning 25. Apparently I am supposed to have a quarter life crisis. But I don't even know what this crisis is supposed to look like, let alone how I differentiate it from one of my common every day crises. Perhaps I just get to decide which one will be labelled my quarter life crisis and pass off a minor thing as my crisis and continue my life from there without the big life changing crisis. Or is it even a compulsory part of turning 25? Because if it is, then I am not looking forward to it. My crisis will undoubtedly have something to do with life. Yes that is possibly the most broad term ever. How do you define 'life'? Well I personally like to think a life crisis would be career, living situation or personal development related.

I have minor career crises almost weekly... Do I want to be a teacher? Do I want to teach next year? Maybe I need more study before I can feel comfortable in a classroom? Why did I choose English? How do I become a special education teacher? What assignment is due next week? These are all things that go through my head on a daily basis. If you asked me to answer any of them my answer would be "I know right", when really I don't know.

Living situation on the other hand I probably only stress about once a month. Now, this might sound ominous but it's not. Mostly it is about where I will be living come 2012. Ben finishes WAAPA and from there life is as uncertain as it gets. I'm kinda liking it, but every now and then my brain implodes with the logistics of moving two people's stuff, a car and two people interstate. It also scares me a tinsy bit knowing that I wont know till probably after this time next year where exactly I will be moving too. Having said that, if I have a great teaching job here in Perth I will be staying. That concept also scares me. Only once in the last 6 months have I ever had a moment about the whole thing, and cried... just a little.

Personal development I have more regular intense crises. Nothing major... but as a recent new hair colour can  show, I am in what I like to call a "personally unsettled" head space. Nothing about how I am as a person seems settled, or to ever be concrete in any real way. It's disconcerting. I don't necessarily feel unhappy, I just feel inconstant, unsettled and erratic while being strangely immoveable. I know who I am, don't get me wrong, but do I really? That question is a bit existential when really all I am trying to say is that right now, I am a million different Me's trying to morph into one conglomerate of an Emily that is satisfying to both the eye and the imagination. Yes?

I can't even decide what I want, to the point where I asked my Mum to get me hard copies of assignment resources (mentioned in a previous blog). How lame and old lady is that?

*sigh*

I seemed to have worked myself into a tizzy, when I know that the day of 25 will come and go and I will be no different to what I was the day before (except maybe a day closer to some due dates).

I do like September though. It's the first month of Spring. New and exciting things are always in the air in during Spring. I'm keen to see what this Spring holds for me, other than a birthday.

With milestones and warm sake I bid you, good evening.

E x

... and that's something.

Today I registered to be a teacher.

Would you let me teach your children?








E x

... and that's how an assignment is done.

So... I am knee deep in assignments and I am loving it. Weird I know, and yet I can't help but feel good about what I am studying this Semester, and to be a little more precise I am excited about how I get to put my assignments together. They are appropriately 'ME' styled in their capacity for research, and for the content required.


Observe...
Assignment One, for a subject titled 'Becoming and Exemplary Teacher'. 
This assignment is a portfolio of resources. That might sound bland at first but when I say to you that I got to choose which of my subjects, and what topic my portfolio will consist of it may suddenly become more appealing (at least it did to me). My topic/goal is "To get year 10 students to understand and respect Australian theatre as a legitimate form of theatre." The essence of this portfolio is that I need to compile all the resources that I will need in order to achieve my goal. This can be teaching resources specific to the subject, student resources, and wider teaching resources. So I have made it my goal to go into every second hand book store I come across and purchase all the Australian set texts on the WA curriculum for years 11 and 12 (there is about 15 of them that I don't already own). I am loving this assignment because I can see that it would be endlessly useful if I step out into a school and they tell me to teach Australian Drama. Basically... I will have those bitches stunned with my amazing Aus Drama resource pack. 


Assignment Two, for a subject titled 'Teaching in Diverse Australian Schools'.
This assignment is a 15-20minute presentation - already up my alley. Every week this semester in tutes there is 3 or 4 presentations on that week's lecture topic. So we had 10 weeks of lectures to choose a topic from, and find our niche topic that no one else was doing. I am lucky and unlucky (any university student will understand this) that the topic that I am the most interested in is in week 10. I have chosen to do a presentation on the Autism Spectrum and it's challenges for teachers. Since directing Burn My Heart Out, and doing lots of research into people with Aspergers syndrome, I have been intensely interested in the spectrum. I've been faced with students on the spectrum on Prac, in both an English class and a Drama class and the difference in techniques used in each room, I found, made a huge difference to the learning process of the students. I am thinking about doing a masters/postgrad thesis on how Drama techniques could be used in non-drama classrooms to help students on the spectrum to learn more effectively. Needless to say, I have found a topic that I am very passionate about, so much so I am thinking about doing another postgrad course in special education. I will indeed be the eternal student. 


If you have read to this point, I commend you. This is a self centred blog, I know, but I thought it might interest some people. 


Any questions?


I'd also like you all to know that I rearranged our bedroom today, and am feeling an influx of clam thoughts, and the restorative feelings that only a clean and 'new' bedroom can arouse. It will be nice to wake up in a new room with my love, on clean sheets, with the smell of green tea and wasabi floating by. 


Good evening fellow procrastinators. 


E x

... and that's a new look.

Snap shot.

These are my new specs. They make me uber happy. 

E x

... and that's how I like it.

Evening.


My favourite thing in the world is a costume party.

Alice in Wonderland

Circus Style

Being in Brisbane and being able to dress up has made me the happiest girl in the world. I love my friends, and their various abilities to make me laugh and smile. This has been the most cathartic holiday, and I am sad that is it coming to an end. I feel it has played an important part in me becoming more comfortable in Perth. I will always miss Brisbane and the people here, but I now know that if I am having a bad day there are plenty of people in Brisbane that I can call/skype to help me through. I think I felt isolated because I felt I needed to do it all on my own, and live solely out of Perth. Perth probably wont provide me with the essential girl friend that every girl should have, but there are plenty here in Brisbane that I am now positive will get calls from me, and can call me in Perth if they need me. 

I don't have to call just one city home

*sigh*

E x

... and that's Brisbane

I can't get the silly smile off my face. 

I feel so comfortable being back in Brisbane. 

Perth hasn't felt like home yet, but I think that's because I have been settling in and then I was lumped with the stress of Uni and Prac.

Being back in Brisbane is like a breath of fresh air.

 There is nothing as comforting and familiar streets. 

One day, I will yearn for many different places and call many places home.

Right now, my yearning for Brisbane is being quenched and it is a great feeling. 

... and that's what I've learnt.

I'm on Prac. That is fun for the time being, and a nice change to the theory I seem to drown in during the semester. Mostly I am excited to go home next week.

Things I have learnt this Prac:
1. I am terrified of year 9 English class.
2. Excursions with specialist students are fun.
3. Winter in Perth is ridiculous.
4. I explain things with my hands.
5. If I get treated like crap in year 9 English one more time I will snap.
6. ESL kids are lovely, "low literacy" kids are not as low literacy as they are branded.
7. I have a teacher yell that would make Genghis behave.
8. Cup-o-soup is a godsend.
9. Teachers don't eat or pee nearly enough for the average human.
10. Lavender on my pillow works wonders.
11. Lesson planning is for losers.
12. Staff room antics should be caught on camera.
13. My passion for teaching has been renewed.
14. I would like to do a Masters in Drama as a special education teaching tool.
15. Clean fingernails are important.
16. Hoodies are always an appropriate teacher outfit.


I'm having fun, but I am keen for the next chapter.

E x

... and that's a fun musing.

Photos. They let me stare at people without being rude.


E x

... and that's homesick.

I am homesick. These are some of the photos that make me smile. 

My sister Liz in San Francisco in 2009. I miss her a lot.

There's no place like home.

Liz, Mum and Me in Washington. 

My car is no longer a Queenslander, this was her last day.

Epic homesickness.  I am so keen to hang out with my sister, and go shopping with my mum, and cuddle my kitten. I never knew I would feel this badly homesick. I mean I am living with my man, and I enjoy Perth. I think maybe the lack of 'girlfriends' is driving me a little crazy. I don't feel like I have anyone I can talk to in that girly nonsensical way that is the language of my besties at home. I am hanging out for a hip-hop dance class with the girls, and am desperate for a house party that does not involve every single person making out with each other, while I sit there trying not to stare (it apparently happens like that in Perth). I am anxious to discover what has changed about Brisbane, and see all the people I love to the bottom of my heart. I want to 'shop' in the city without getting lost, I really want to sleep in my own bed. I am aching for hot chocolate late at night, and to see movies that I don't care about with people I adore. I want to see all the changes to the Cement Box (I will never call is the Geoffrey Rush whats-it), and I want to kiss everyone I miss on the cheek and tell them how much I miss them. I want to cry... Perth is not allowing that. I'd like to gush to people who care and I want to feel like I belong to a group of people again. I want to be a red head again.

Perth is nice, but Brisbane is my home and I miss it and all that it means to me. 

E x

... and that's a guilty pleasure.

Shoes. Every girls best friend right? Oh yes. In my case I would even go so far as to say that they are not only my best friend, but also my arch nemesis. Why? Because shoes cost money. 

Some of my favourites.

The elusive money. Every girl needs it and every girl doesn't have enough to satisfy all her general living expenses, and her shoe love. This is where Ebay comes in handy. I have been shoe shopping on Ebay, and in the last two days I have been outbid at the last second on two things, and outbid in regards to price range on three things. Now... when shoe shopping on Ebay I have discovered that lots of women are also doing the same thing, meaning anything remotely trendy is in high demand. This also means that anything remotely cheap will explode in price in the last few hours of sale because women believe they are getting some kind of bargain because it's on Ebay. Let me be the first to tell you... you are not getting a bargain. Maybe this is all attributed to the type of shoes I have been looking at, namely Vintage Pixie boots, also commonly referred to as Grunge pixie boots, Oxford boots, Lace up vintage boots or any combination of these. I stumbled across this style, I in fact didn't know they existed until my Ebay travels, but apparently they were very popular in the 80s and early 90s. They come in a range of styles (the combat grunge, the pixie Victorian tooled heel, flat ankle length, heeled lace up to below the knee, and flat lace up of many various kinds) and many different colours, the most popular of which is black or brown. When I said to my mum that I was bidding on Vintage Pixie boots, she immediately knew what I meant, so obviously this knowledge wasn't handed down in my family as well as it may have been in others. Needless to say, a sudden obsession with this kind of boot had be trawling Ebay at all hours, and coming up empty handed. Am I the only one that thinks bidding for a second hand pair of boots that gets up to around $150 plus postage is a little bit ridiculous? Because honestly, I could buy a brand new pair of boots for less and walk them home, forfeiting any postage that might be needed. What is the bizzare fixation on "getting a bargain"? When really you are paying for someone else's shoes to be shipped to you, in the hope that they will fit, and aren't covered in someone else's toe jam. What's the big deal?

Thinking I could outsmart the Ebay obsession-ists, I went shopping. I don't really follow fashions closely, so I had no idea if I was going to be able to find what I was looking for, or even find anything at all (I do reside in Perth shopping blackhole of Australia). First shop I walk into, and there they are. Shining black, pixie boots. They are calling to me from the shelf, and I seem to zero in on them like I have a radar tuned in to just them. They are beautiful. Flat (essential for my wardrobe). Black (also apparently an essential for my wardrobe). Lace up. Fold over cuffs. Apparently they are back in fashion. The store is full of what looks like modern versions of all the boots I have seen on Ebay. All reasonably priced for boots, and all new. No one else's toe jam in sight. I can't afford them because as mentioned above I would probably have to sacrifice some kind of general living need in order to get them. But they call sweetly at me from their perch, and suddenly they are in my hand. The display pair are my size, so why not just try them on? Now they are on my feet. Yes. My reaction to these boots is exactly as expected. Love. Not only do I now want these boots, I NEED these boots.

To survive.




Meet my new boots.

Cuffs up. 

I'll eat next week.

E x

... and that's a job for you!

Ok, here they are! Some very poorly framed photos of me in my Captain Starlight uniform. That's right... I wear this to work. Honestly... it's the best ever! I watch movies, and play games, and on Saturday we had a sing along. You think you love your job? Wait until you get to dress up and be crazy and watch kids faces light up. It's my favourite. 

So this is the standard uniform. Complete with cuffs, silver belt and Captain's hat and silver lurex tights. The only part of the uniform I am missing is the boot covers. They are these gross silver zip up moments that make you look and feel like you are wearing space boots. But also an excellent part of the uniform. Oh and I am missing the cape. Silver with purple lining and must be worn when doing ward rounds.

This photo is me with part of the optional uniform. Apparently no one wears this beautiful yellow tunic, and to be honest I am not really sure why. I loves it! I am going to make it my thing, that and the short pigtails. Everyone has a "thing" so that the kids can tell as all apart. We all wear the same things and are all called Captain Starlight, so naturally a "thing" will make us easier to tell apart. 

                    

I love my job. 

 Em x

... and that's fairly impressive.

This week I have successfully managed to do a few things well. Assignments aside, I managed to make fabulous Rice pudding, a pretty posy of flowers for our kitchen table and (what I am most impressed about) I put together three outfits I am very proud of. Yes I know it's only Wednesday, but more often than not in my week I might only get one outfit right, if I'm lucky. So I am feeling pretty chuffed.

Below are some not very well framed photos of my outfits. (The perils of not having someone to take your photo, and no tripod.)

Outfit One: Monday - Uni and out for dinner. 
Forever New crisp white button up, 3/4 sleeve tunic top
Mak grey cable knit circle cardigan (Modcloth)
Miscellaneous blue jeans
Melissa black plastic flats (That smell like bubblegum)

Outfit Two: Tuesday - Uni and casual hanging around
Pink and black vintage 80s dress - no label
Black H&M 3/4 sleeve scoop neck top (worn under dress)
Black Cotton on cardigan
Black stirrup tights - Woolworths
Black sparkly flats - Payless.

                          

Outfit Three: Tuesday night - dinner at the pub with friends

Jungle theme long sleeve dress - Sportsgirl (worn backwards)
Moon Collection burgundy tweed swing jacket (Modcloth)
Scarf from Eqypt
Black stirrup tights - Woolworths
Black sparkly flats - Payless

Needless to say I am quite happy with these outfits. I'm honestly not sure why I feel that I got them right, any more than what I normally would, but there you go. Maybe it's because I haven't worn the main pieces of these outfits yet (the shirt and two dresses) but have been starring at them in my wardrobe for weeks. Maybe during those weeks I dreamt the fabulous outfits, or maybe it was just days of trying them on and taking them off again, the trial and error of getting them right. I'm not sure. All I know is I am having a good week and have discovered a few new outfits that I will no doubt wear until I get sick of them and find more.

Em x

... and that's the exciting part.

Day: Friday

Special Because: It's Starlight Day!

Camera: Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ35. 

Outfit: Purple Love Tree tunic top, grey and white Honey Punch twisted scarf (Love Tree and Honey Punch both Modcloth), miscellaneous blue jeans, brown strappy sandals from a market in Spain. Starlight Foundation badge.

Listening to: Regina Spektor

Mood: Lazy, excited and restless. 

Today is new camera day. I have finished one of the two assignments due next week, and am part way through the other. Lucky for me really, because I have been playing with the camera all day!
I am still learning. But what amazes me is the quality of the photos before I have even fiddled with them. I did some experimenting with colour, and so far that is my favourite setting on the camera.

Here are some of the photos I took today.

My Wardrobe. 

I do like colour. 

Should have cleaned my mirror first!

So that's a small snap shot of my day, all of these are straight off the camera, even the black and white-ish one. No photo shopping done. That will be my next adventure once I work out all the technology. 

E x